"You leapt into the abyss, but find
It only goes up to your knees" 

So goes Nick Cave's song "Babe, you turn me on". 

This year has I have experienced a number of personal and professional leaps into the abyss, but like Nick Cave's song goes, have found it has only gone up to my knees. 

The two great motivators for change are discomfort and opportunity. In the first case, we sometimes find ourselves in situations which aren't so terrible that we are compelled to get away, yet we know deep within that we are not satisfied, fulfilled or content. We remain in the situation, motivated by hope for a better future, or for fear of a future unknown, or maybe a combination of both. And so time rolls on, the situation remains unsatisfying at best, damaging at worst. 

In the case of the other change motivator, sometimes an opportunity is so potentially satisfying that we are prepared to sacrifice all that we have for the treasures that await. In this circumstance change is not seen as negative, but exciting, invigorating and life affirming.

For many people, the opportunity motivator is the less likely of the two scenarios outlined above. Far more common is the brooding sense of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction. I know it has been for me.

My leaps into the abyss commenced early in 2012, and are culminating in less than a week as I prepare to leave the country for an indeterminate period. 

Why am I doing this? The motivation goes back a long way - 37 years. As a young man I dreamed of travelling to the United Kingdom and elsewhere. At the age of 19, my love for a young lady derailed my intentions, and so I shelved my plans, became married and started a family. From that point onwards family responsibilities, insecurities and lack of opportunity kept me in Australia. Don't misunderstand me - I take full responsibility for my choices in life. In retrospect I am very aware that I could have made different ones. It is just that finally I am in the life situation where I can do the things I could have, or should have, done many years ago. It is interesting that some of the same themes that I experienced so long ago have arisen this time around, forcing me to consciously work through insecurities and relationships issues  uncannily reminiscent of so long ago.

I don't know how long I will be gone - hence the one way ticket. It may be a few months, or longer. I don't know what awaits me, good or ill. I only know that I am doing something I have waited 37 years to do. And it seems that the abyss only comes up to your knees.